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Close Encounters of the Jessica Kind

Posted in Gossip on 02/25/05 @ 2:43am, by Reejii.
Nick's cheatin' heart.

Jessica Jaymes was recently seated next to Nick Lachey and his wife Jessica Simpson at nightclub Avalon in L.A. during a tsunami relief concert featuring Justin Timberlake, James Brown, Santana, and others. Nick seemed very uneasy about the two girls being next to eachother, in fear that they would start pulling eachother's hair out like girls usually do (beats going to the barber's!). It all stems back to three months ago when The Enquirer revealed how Jaymes performed a lesbian sex show with another porn star during a bachelor party that Nick attended for a sound engineer friend. When Jessica Simpson found out, she and Nick allegedly had a big fight. There's nothing more entertaining than domestic violence, especially when celebrities are involved! It's no secret that Nick has been flirting around with other girls while Jessica's been away filming "The Dukes of Hazzard." If the two Jessicas noticed eachother all hell might have broken loose. Or atleast a nice ~~pussy~~ cat fight. "Nick's jaw dropped when he saw his wife was just inches from Jessica Jaymes," an insider told The ENQUIRER. "Thank God, Jessica Simpson was clueless (as usual). She had no idea that the woman sitting near her was the same one who had (orally) entertained her husband. Nick looked obviously uncomfortable, but he tried his best not to let on. It would have been disastrous if the women started brawling."

Nick got paranoid every time the two girls got close to eachother. You might even say he looked a little constipated. I know the feeling Nick. Ex-lax will clear that right up! "They nodded and smiled at one another, but fortunately for Nick, Jessica Jaymes didn't let on." Nick later leaned in to whisper something in Jaymes' ear. I would assume he was telling her a secret getaway spot the two could have a hump fest at when Mrs. Simpson wasn't around. But sources say he was probably asking her to move to another table. That sounds more logical, but I like my assumption better. By the way, I'm totally drunk! But since that is completely irrelevant, back to the story.

After Nick realized that someone took a picture of him whispering in Jaymes' ear, an insider says "He went into crisis mode - reaching across the table and snatching the phone away from a concertgoer." Immediately after, the security had Jaymes and her date move to another table. Luckily for Nick, she didn't put up a fight or anything. Because she knew the two would be together later in the night at that secret hump spot I mentioned before. Meanwhile, Jessica Simpson is left in the cold still trying to figure out if tuna is chicken, or...tuna.

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