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Tori Spelling Seduces Usher!
Posted in Gossip on 05/10/05 @ 1:10pm, by Reejii.
More gossip now comes in from events that took place at last weekend's Kentucky Derby. Former "90210" star Tori Spelling was seen holding hands with Tara Reid at the Barnstable party, only later to be mezmerized by a table-dancing Usher. "Tori came over to Usher, who was dancing on a table. She shook his hand. Then she began caressing it, then she ran it all over her face. Then she licked his fingers," said a source for the New York Daily News. Witnesses to the public foreplay were Joey "Fat One" Fatone, Gabrielle Union, and Chris Tucker. Tori later hiked up her skirt, planning on getting on the table with Usher, but was stopped by her husband Charlie Shanian. He was reportedly "infuriated" and pushed Michael Jordan out of the way to get to Tori. Tori insists it was Usher that bent over and kissed her hand and "that's all." Surrre Tori, and your career is better than ever! (can you detect the sarcasm?) COMMENTS
#2. Posted by say it ain't so!! 05/17/05 @ 12:05pm:
I'm sure that slut would rather go to bed with Usher than with Charlie Shanian. Usher, for some reason I don't understand, is BIG right now. Who the hell is Charlie?
Tori would pose for tabloid photos with Usher's load still on her face if she could.
That kind of scandalous attention is the only kind of life support that could keep this 90210 ditz's career alive.
So grab that famous cock with your butt cheecks honey, and hold on like it was an Oscar that your father didn't have to pay for.
It doesn't matter that Usher has changed his name from something normal like JOHN or BRIAN, and for the sake of being different now goes by USHER--aka the douchebag highschool kid who works at the theatre.
It doesn't matter that he's a no talent shit who's music sounds like a combination of a disco cd that skips and the annoying sound effects we blasted to scare the enemy in Vietnam.
It doesn't matter that this guy's ego is so out of control that he needs to get up on a table and dance where everyone can't miss him.
"Look at ME!!!! Give me the attention that my father never did!!!"
Think about the symbolism of being up on a table and dancing at a party. He thinks he's better than everyone else so he has to physically BE ABOVE them.
What matters is this-- No matter how hard Tori tries to cobble that cock, her husband has nothing to worry about.
If Usher ever started fucking her from behind and reached around for a squeeze- he'd pull out of her and scream when he realized she didn't have a pair of nuts for him to juggle.
Some day a comedian will goof on him the way Chappele makes fun of Rick James.
And I'll be the first to say I told you so when Usher is as big a has-been as Tori already is.
Ohhh- go ahead. Say I'm angry because I'm jealous of him.
You're right. But if I could have MY pick of beautiful women, I wouldn't waste MY time on top of a table.
Tori would pose for tabloid photos with Usher's load still on her face if she could.
That kind of scandalous attention is the only kind of life support that could keep this 90210 ditz's career alive.
So grab that famous cock with your butt cheecks honey, and hold on like it was an Oscar that your father didn't have to pay for.
It doesn't matter that Usher has changed his name from something normal like JOHN or BRIAN, and for the sake of being different now goes by USHER--aka the douchebag highschool kid who works at the theatre.
It doesn't matter that he's a no talent shit who's music sounds like a combination of a disco cd that skips and the annoying sound effects we blasted to scare the enemy in Vietnam.
It doesn't matter that this guy's ego is so out of control that he needs to get up on a table and dance where everyone can't miss him.
"Look at ME!!!! Give me the attention that my father never did!!!"
Think about the symbolism of being up on a table and dancing at a party. He thinks he's better than everyone else so he has to physically BE ABOVE them.
What matters is this-- No matter how hard Tori tries to cobble that cock, her husband has nothing to worry about.
If Usher ever started fucking her from behind and reached around for a squeeze- he'd pull out of her and scream when he realized she didn't have a pair of nuts for him to juggle.
Some day a comedian will goof on him the way Chappele makes fun of Rick James.
And I'll be the first to say I told you so when Usher is as big a has-been as Tori already is.
Ohhh- go ahead. Say I'm angry because I'm jealous of him.
You're right. But if I could have MY pick of beautiful women, I wouldn't waste MY time on top of a table.
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